thought : hello again, myself

strong winds of anxiety threw me into a torrent of emotion, a verbal display of being outwardly vicious. a mix of guilty pleasures, simple realizations. where was i leading myself? into something i wanted? stuttered and stammered then went defcon 4 to self destruct. these are the most terrible of times, where questions arise from the thick mucus of doubt. lodged uncomfortably in my throat. each swallow a painful reminder that im ingesting a sickness. self inflicted. self diagnosed, followed by a remedy of denial. perhaps a dash of confusion? some peppered fear? im allergic to reality and sneeze in surrender.

thought : the season

christmas is nearly upon us. the shopping season is in full swing and my inability to avoid the madness has only resulted into frustration, mental constipation, and a chest cold. thus exposing myself to the seasonal elements has taken its toll on my physical well being as well as my financial!.

i wasnt a very good boy the last couple of season(s) *cough*.. so i dont expect much, a card, perhaps some cookies! (snickerdoodles). and a couple of warm nights with friends. or perhaps a good argument or three. but if anyone is asking. i really need clothes, a netbook, a new phone, a lot of dentistry work.